in a funk.

"Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing."

                                                - John 15:4-5

 

Abide involves rest. It involves dwelling and staying. It includes being with Jesus - not so much doing. Doing flows out of being. It comes after we fully rest in Jesus - after we know who we are in Him, and who He is. Our identity and value is not found in the things we do, but our identity and value is found in who Jesus says we are. He calls us His, loved, cherished, redeemed, set apart, His inheritance, His children. God is after our hearts and our relationship with Him.

Lately I've been in this weird funk. Honestly, I've been really bad with my quiet time and my prayer life is really not there. And it sucks. I just feel out of it and really blaaahhh. I haven't been trying to seek the Lord and my bible and journal have been sitting on my desk collecting dust. I'm in this really exciting but weird season in my life and I'm not sure how I really feel about it. I feel like this season is never going to end and honestly I have been trying to "end" it myself which only makes things harder. I have not been abiding in the Lord and I know that this season is not ever going to end if I don't fully submit and rest in Him. I don't know where this season will lead me - or how long it may take, but I refuse to be so focused on the next season that I miss out on this one.

XOXO
Jessica Marie

 



Uganda Day One

I was not too sure what to expect of Uganda and honestly I was really nervous about being there. We had to take malaria pills and sleep under mosquito nets (for some reason, this terrified me). Our first night there, my mosquito net was filled with mosquitos. (really defeats the purpose of the net) and I heard them buzzing around my ears all night. Then I was kindly woken up by who knows what kind of animals at like 5 AM.

The first full day in Kampala we worked with Return Home Ministries, and what fun this was! When we walked up to the ministry, about 100 kids started cheering and running up to us. They each found someone they would cling to and stay with all day. Their welcoming hearts and arms was overwhelming and it was impossible to not immediately fall in love with each one of them. We sang some worship songs with them, did a little VBS, make friendship bracelets, face painted, played games, loved of them, sat with them, and held them. It breaks my heart how hungry for love and affection most of these kids are and really makes me thankful for two parents who are still alive, in my life and really love me.





Ugandans love to dance (something very different from Ethiopia). And while we were at Return Ministries the kids sang and danced for us. It was so much fun to listen and watch them! Here's a little video of them. I must warn you, it's pretty darn cute!: 

 

At lunch time, we got to serve the food to the kiddos. Lunch consisted of rice and beans (typical food in a Ugandan meal). It amazed me how the older kids were constantly taking care of the little ones. They made sure they got their food and even fed the ones who were too little to feed themselves. These kids are so selfless. When lunch was over, some of the guys on our team went and bought them sodas. What a joy and sweet sight it was to see them light up when we passed them out! (It's the simple things people) These kids don't ever get to have a soda and if they do it's usually on Christmas and that is their present. (a soda in Uganda costs about 75 cents)

 

Return Children's home is bringing a Father to the fatherless. These precious children have been affected by war, poverty, and disease. I could have easily been in their position. You could have easily been in their position. We are no different than them; we all need a Savior, love, food, and shelter. I am thankful for the day I got to spend working with Return Children's home and loving on these kiddos. God is really working in these children's lives and through the staff of Return Home and it was so beautiful to be apart of His work. Thank you Lord for saving and rescuing me; Your faithfulness is overwhelming.

 

His,

Jessica Marie

 



nothing to eat.

I've been home from Africa for two weeks now, and I have slowly processed all that went on inside me during my two weeks there. This summer in Africa was much different than last; God really wrecked and broke me. I had a "break down" moment today.

Today for lunch, I went into the kitchen to find something to eat. As I opened the fridge, freezer, and pantry multiple times, I complained to my younger sister that we had nothing to eat. And when I say nothing to eat, I mean nothing that I wanted to eat. Our fridge is full of left overs, our freezer has several items I could have chosen, and our pantry is stocked full with five different cereals, like two different jars of peanut butter, different soups, and way more food than we will ever eat. Yet, I still complained that we had nothing to eat. So I went back to the living room and continued to complain that I was hungry.

 

I then went to my room and cried. This killed me and made me sick to my stomach. I have WAY more food than I need and because I am selfish and picky, didn't want to eat any of it. How can sit in my air conditioned house and complain that I had nothing to eat when the kids I was with just two weeks ago are digging in the trash dump for their daily food?

 

Did you know:

 - that hunger kills more people every year than AIDS, Malaria, and Tuberculosis combined

-poor nutrition causes nearly half of the deaths in children under five - 3.1 million children each year

-In 2010, an estimated 7.6 million children - more than 20,000 a day - died from hunger

- 1 in 8 people go to bed hungry all around the world

 

Seeing hungry people kills me. No one should go to bed hungry. And seeing hungry children kills me even more. The kids in Uganda and Ethiopia, that I was with two weeks ago, would absolutely love the left overs in my fridge. They would love a bowl of plain corn flakes for lunch. We live in a country were there are multiple restaurants open 24 hours a day and most of us have more food than we need in our kitchens. I am not saying we should feel guilty for this blessing and privilege but we should not be okay with the fact that millions of people die every year due to a lack of food. And not only do they not have food, they don't have clean water (a whole other topic that really hit me hard this trip to Africa).

 

There are hungry, starving, and thirsty people all over the world. Not just in Africa. They are sitting in YOUR community. They go to school with your kids. It can cost as little as $10 to feed a child for a month. I know that I can not feed every hungry person in the world but I can feed one. If this means I have to give up Starbucks twice a month or need to give up going out to eat (when I have plenty of food at home anyway) then so be it. I don't need that Starbucks or that dinner out but that child needs my $10. There are so many different charities that help feed the hungry and help supply clean water; you've just got to look them up. What will you do? How will you help?

 

"If you offer yourself to the hungry, and satisfy the afflicted one, then your light will shine in the darkness, and your night will be like noonday."

                                                                            -Isaiah 58:10

 

Daughter of Him,

Jessica Marie

His purpose will prevail

(I really need to get serious about this blog thing.)

This summer I had the opportunity to go back and serve in Africa, a place that captured my heart last summer. Me and my awesome team of 15 others spent half of the trip in Uganda and the other half in Ethiopia. I have been home for like two weeks now but I'm still trying to process everything. There was so much that God did in me. I prayed that He would wreck me and break me and He listened. Africa is special and life changing.

some of the beautiful children of Korah

I still chuckle when I think about the fact that I have been to Africa twice (China once) in less than a year. God doesn't need me but He has chosen me to be apart of His plan and what an HONOR it is. His plan for my life is the complete opposite of what I had planned but that's okay. His plan is WAY better. Lately the Lord has been reminding me that I have a special purpose here on this Earth and I just need to wait (patiently) for Him to reveal His plan to me. This is a challenging season in my life but I'm learning so much. I have lots of stories to share with y'all about Africa (and I am going to do my best to actually blog about them). Till then I leave you with this verse:

"You can make many plans, but the Lord's purpose will prevail."  ~

Proverbs 19:21

His,
Jessica Marie

The last one!

 

 

On June 1st my "little" sister graduated high school! She is the last one of us four siblings to finish high school. What a fun weekend it was celebrating her and her accomplishments! I am so proud of you Emily and I love you to the moon and back! I know that you are going to do great things at Texas Tech!

Brightest during the strom.

We all have those low points in our life, and we all have those times when we just want to give up. And as Christians sometimes we feel that God is just not there with us.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding" - Proverbs 3:5

"Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you" 1 Peter 5:7

" And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus" Philippians 4:19

"Thus says the Lord: “Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the Lord. He is like a shrub in the desert, and shall not see any good come. He shall dwell in the parched places of the wilderness, in an uninhabited salt land. “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.” The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?

 - Jeremiah 17:5-9 

When you feel like you can’t find God through the tough times in life, sometimes all we need to do is stop and remember where God has already been and the trials God has carried us through. Looking back, you can see where God was with you during frightening times. Looking for God in the past helps you know and trust that God is going to be with you in the present. He will never forsake you. No matter how tough life gets. 

But have we ever stopped to think that maybe we have turned against our Lord. During those stormy times in our life, have we truly been seeking the Lord? This verse hit me hard when I read it. We were not made to be self-sufficient. So many times when life gets rough we try to fix it all on our own, and when that happens for me, I fail. And sometimes I end up making things even worse. We were designed to need God at all seasons of our life. He wants to be there for us. He is there for us. All we have to do it talk to Him.

Mission Statement

We always here about corporations' mission statement and what they hope to see happen within the business, but you don't really hear about personal mission statements. What do I want to see happen in my life? What do I want to be remembered for? These were questions that were asked at my Life Group Sunday night, and I had no idea what my personal life mission statement would be. It even took me awhile to think of values I live by and ones that I want to live by. 

So these past few days those two questions have been on my mind.
 

"So let my life be the proof,
the proof of Your love
let my love look like You and what You're made of" - (for King and Country)

 

This is one of my favorite songs and I love these lyrics. I want people to see the love of our Heavenly Father when they see me. I want my love to look like Him and what He is made of. I want my life to truly reflect His grace and mercy.

"Dear friends, let us love another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God" - 1 John 4:7

"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love" - Ephesians 4:2

Love. Love. Love. Such a powerful thing. I want my life to be full of love. When I die, I want people to remember me because of His love. "We love because He first loved us." - Ephesians 4:19 We have been given the command that if we love Him, we must also love our brothers and sisters. 

 

Proverbs 18:10

I have been single for about two months now and I still struggle with it daily. After being in a relationship for four and a half years, there is nothing easy about breaking-up; but I know that this is what God wants for me at this point in my life.

We see things in our life from a very small perspective and it's very easy to look past what God is trying to tell us. Sometimes we need to get a look at our life from God's perspective. Proverbs 18:10 says "The name Yahweh is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are protected." I wasn't running to God with all of my fears, doubts, and problems. I let my boyfriend be that comfort. I relied on him and not on HIM. Even though I knew this was wrong I let it go on for way to long. I could hear God telling to me let go of the relationship and trust Him but I was too stubborn and didn't listen. Being with my ex was comforting and I didn't want to let that comfort go. I do not like being out of my comfort zone. For months I worked on the relationship and tried telling myself that everything was okay and we were "meant" for each other. But that all caught up to me.

After being away from each other for a little over a month, something  just did not feel right. Funny thing is, our relationship was great. Probably the best it had ever been. So why did I feel the way I did? That is the question I asked God over and over again. How was it that we were so happy with each other and I was so in love with our relationship and my boyfriend, but deep down inside I knew I needed to end it? - I wasn't in love with Jesus the way I should've been. That answer seems so simple, but took me quite awhile to figure out. I looked past the fact that I put my boyfriend and relationship before Him. We serve a jealous King and sometimes we need to let go of what we love the most so we can love Him the most.

These past two month have been pretty interesting. I've learned so much and I have relied on the Lord more than I ever have. God has placed so many incredible opportunities in front of me and I am constantly amazed by how much He loves me. I know that this is a new season in my life and I am ready to face it with the strength from above.

Stay classy,
J-Rey

Starting this new adventure.

Hello everyone :) This is my first blog and I really want to keep up with it. I have just recently started living the "college" life at Texas A&M Corpus Christi and I absolutely love it here so far! I haven't made many friends yet but I'm hoping that won't be a problem once school starts! I'm so ready to start this new chapter in my life! I'm excited to see the things that God has in store for me. I know that things won't always be easy but with Him on my side I know that ANYTHING is possible! I promise I'm going to do my best to write as much as I can. Once school starts I know I'll be busy busy busy!

Yupp. The beach is my front door :)