in a funk.

"Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing."

                                                - John 15:4-5

 

Abide involves rest. It involves dwelling and staying. It includes being with Jesus - not so much doing. Doing flows out of being. It comes after we fully rest in Jesus - after we know who we are in Him, and who He is. Our identity and value is not found in the things we do, but our identity and value is found in who Jesus says we are. He calls us His, loved, cherished, redeemed, set apart, His inheritance, His children. God is after our hearts and our relationship with Him.

Lately I've been in this weird funk. Honestly, I've been really bad with my quiet time and my prayer life is really not there. And it sucks. I just feel out of it and really blaaahhh. I haven't been trying to seek the Lord and my bible and journal have been sitting on my desk collecting dust. I'm in this really exciting but weird season in my life and I'm not sure how I really feel about it. I feel like this season is never going to end and honestly I have been trying to "end" it myself which only makes things harder. I have not been abiding in the Lord and I know that this season is not ever going to end if I don't fully submit and rest in Him. I don't know where this season will lead me - or how long it may take, but I refuse to be so focused on the next season that I miss out on this one.

XOXO
Jessica Marie

 



Uganda Day One

I was not too sure what to expect of Uganda and honestly I was really nervous about being there. We had to take malaria pills and sleep under mosquito nets (for some reason, this terrified me). Our first night there, my mosquito net was filled with mosquitos. (really defeats the purpose of the net) and I heard them buzzing around my ears all night. Then I was kindly woken up by who knows what kind of animals at like 5 AM.

The first full day in Kampala we worked with Return Home Ministries, and what fun this was! When we walked up to the ministry, about 100 kids started cheering and running up to us. They each found someone they would cling to and stay with all day. Their welcoming hearts and arms was overwhelming and it was impossible to not immediately fall in love with each one of them. We sang some worship songs with them, did a little VBS, make friendship bracelets, face painted, played games, loved of them, sat with them, and held them. It breaks my heart how hungry for love and affection most of these kids are and really makes me thankful for two parents who are still alive, in my life and really love me.





Ugandans love to dance (something very different from Ethiopia). And while we were at Return Ministries the kids sang and danced for us. It was so much fun to listen and watch them! Here's a little video of them. I must warn you, it's pretty darn cute!: 

 

At lunch time, we got to serve the food to the kiddos. Lunch consisted of rice and beans (typical food in a Ugandan meal). It amazed me how the older kids were constantly taking care of the little ones. They made sure they got their food and even fed the ones who were too little to feed themselves. These kids are so selfless. When lunch was over, some of the guys on our team went and bought them sodas. What a joy and sweet sight it was to see them light up when we passed them out! (It's the simple things people) These kids don't ever get to have a soda and if they do it's usually on Christmas and that is their present. (a soda in Uganda costs about 75 cents)

 

Return Children's home is bringing a Father to the fatherless. These precious children have been affected by war, poverty, and disease. I could have easily been in their position. You could have easily been in their position. We are no different than them; we all need a Savior, love, food, and shelter. I am thankful for the day I got to spend working with Return Children's home and loving on these kiddos. God is really working in these children's lives and through the staff of Return Home and it was so beautiful to be apart of His work. Thank you Lord for saving and rescuing me; Your faithfulness is overwhelming.

 

His,

Jessica Marie

 



nothing to eat.

I've been home from Africa for two weeks now, and I have slowly processed all that went on inside me during my two weeks there. This summer in Africa was much different than last; God really wrecked and broke me. I had a "break down" moment today.

Today for lunch, I went into the kitchen to find something to eat. As I opened the fridge, freezer, and pantry multiple times, I complained to my younger sister that we had nothing to eat. And when I say nothing to eat, I mean nothing that I wanted to eat. Our fridge is full of left overs, our freezer has several items I could have chosen, and our pantry is stocked full with five different cereals, like two different jars of peanut butter, different soups, and way more food than we will ever eat. Yet, I still complained that we had nothing to eat. So I went back to the living room and continued to complain that I was hungry.

 

I then went to my room and cried. This killed me and made me sick to my stomach. I have WAY more food than I need and because I am selfish and picky, didn't want to eat any of it. How can sit in my air conditioned house and complain that I had nothing to eat when the kids I was with just two weeks ago are digging in the trash dump for their daily food?

 

Did you know:

 - that hunger kills more people every year than AIDS, Malaria, and Tuberculosis combined

-poor nutrition causes nearly half of the deaths in children under five - 3.1 million children each year

-In 2010, an estimated 7.6 million children - more than 20,000 a day - died from hunger

- 1 in 8 people go to bed hungry all around the world

 

Seeing hungry people kills me. No one should go to bed hungry. And seeing hungry children kills me even more. The kids in Uganda and Ethiopia, that I was with two weeks ago, would absolutely love the left overs in my fridge. They would love a bowl of plain corn flakes for lunch. We live in a country were there are multiple restaurants open 24 hours a day and most of us have more food than we need in our kitchens. I am not saying we should feel guilty for this blessing and privilege but we should not be okay with the fact that millions of people die every year due to a lack of food. And not only do they not have food, they don't have clean water (a whole other topic that really hit me hard this trip to Africa).

 

There are hungry, starving, and thirsty people all over the world. Not just in Africa. They are sitting in YOUR community. They go to school with your kids. It can cost as little as $10 to feed a child for a month. I know that I can not feed every hungry person in the world but I can feed one. If this means I have to give up Starbucks twice a month or need to give up going out to eat (when I have plenty of food at home anyway) then so be it. I don't need that Starbucks or that dinner out but that child needs my $10. There are so many different charities that help feed the hungry and help supply clean water; you've just got to look them up. What will you do? How will you help?

 

"If you offer yourself to the hungry, and satisfy the afflicted one, then your light will shine in the darkness, and your night will be like noonday."

                                                                            -Isaiah 58:10

 

Daughter of Him,

Jessica Marie

His purpose will prevail

(I really need to get serious about this blog thing.)

This summer I had the opportunity to go back and serve in Africa, a place that captured my heart last summer. Me and my awesome team of 15 others spent half of the trip in Uganda and the other half in Ethiopia. I have been home for like two weeks now but I'm still trying to process everything. There was so much that God did in me. I prayed that He would wreck me and break me and He listened. Africa is special and life changing.

some of the beautiful children of Korah

I still chuckle when I think about the fact that I have been to Africa twice (China once) in less than a year. God doesn't need me but He has chosen me to be apart of His plan and what an HONOR it is. His plan for my life is the complete opposite of what I had planned but that's okay. His plan is WAY better. Lately the Lord has been reminding me that I have a special purpose here on this Earth and I just need to wait (patiently) for Him to reveal His plan to me. This is a challenging season in my life but I'm learning so much. I have lots of stories to share with y'all about Africa (and I am going to do my best to actually blog about them). Till then I leave you with this verse:

"You can make many plans, but the Lord's purpose will prevail."  ~

Proverbs 19:21

His,
Jessica Marie

The last one!

 

 

On June 1st my "little" sister graduated high school! She is the last one of us four siblings to finish high school. What a fun weekend it was celebrating her and her accomplishments! I am so proud of you Emily and I love you to the moon and back! I know that you are going to do great things at Texas Tech!