I have been single for about two months now and I still struggle with it daily. After being in a relationship for four and a half years, there is nothing easy about breaking-up; but I know that this is what God wants for me at this point in my life.
We see things in our life from a very small perspective and it's very easy to look past what God is trying to tell us. Sometimes we need to get a look at our life from God's perspective. Proverbs 18:10 says "The name Yahweh is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are protected." I wasn't running to God with all of my fears, doubts, and problems. I let my boyfriend be that comfort. I relied on him and not on HIM. Even though I knew this was wrong I let it go on for way to long. I could hear God telling to me let go of the relationship and trust Him but I was too stubborn and didn't listen. Being with my ex was comforting and I didn't want to let that comfort go. I do not like being out of my comfort zone. For months I worked on the relationship and tried telling myself that everything was okay and we were "meant" for each other. But that all caught up to me.
After being away from each other for a little over a month, something just did not feel right. Funny thing is, our relationship was great. Probably the best it had ever been. So why did I feel the way I did? That is the question I asked God over and over again. How was it that we were so happy with each other and I was so in love with our relationship and my boyfriend, but deep down inside I knew I needed to end it? - I wasn't in love with Jesus the way I should've been. That answer seems so simple, but took me quite awhile to figure out. I looked past the fact that I put my boyfriend and relationship before Him. We serve a jealous King and sometimes we need to let go of what we love the most so we can love Him the most.
These past two month have been pretty interesting. I've learned so much and I have relied on the Lord more than I ever have. God has placed so many incredible opportunities in front of me and I am constantly amazed by how much He loves me. I know that this is a new season in my life and I am ready to face it with the strength from above.
Stay classy,
J-Rey
